Found Through Loss
Updated: Jan 28
Until a few years ago I never really understood death, until I lost my grandmother and then our dear Aunt. It was the combined experiences of losing these two significant beings that made me come full circle.
Growing up, I lost pets. I saw my grandfathers pass away, gently being there for one of the passings. I felt the deep pangs by other family members deaths, but through these experiences I always felt more like I was an outsider; a translator looking in on someone else's life.
Through the loss of my paternal grandmother who had an influential hand in raising me, I realized that these people who are close to us, live in us completely once they die. That once they are no longer with us, they grow in us. We see similarities within our actions, our choices and the many things that grow as we evolve and as we age. Although my paternal grandmother is no longer here in physical form, she is completely with me.
Also, our Aunt who passed away last year, was my aunt through marriage. She wasn't someone I grew up knowing. She didn't have a hand in raising me, but the connection was there almost immediately. I admit that I feel things deeply, and that I am open. At times my sensitivity can be overwhelming, but I have learned how to work with it, and this is a daily practice in: compassion for myself and others, meditation, and other activities that I love: jogging, cycling and photography to name a few. I have also begun to trust my intuition; to honour what is being presented to me and the feelings that arise.
When I met my husband's aunt she understood my humour and I understood her's. We could be sarcastic, sensitive, honest in a very light and funny way. Her loss affected me deeply, so much so that I have found new light and a push to accomplish endeavours that I will pursue, all inspired by her life story with Multiple Sclerosis. I am going to wait to uncover my dreams inspired by her life at this point, but she has propelled me to think more deeply. Because of her passing, I have been given many messages.
What does this all mean Jo?
That, in death new life and light enters. If you can see beyond the tears and the loss, and accept the cycle of life, then you can begin to see the messages that come through (and I think this can be related to any loss: loss of job, relationship ending, etc.,). If you get really quiet and allow yourself to go through the motions: the tears, the anger, all of it, then, what happens is those deep things that need to be born awaken in visions and dreams. And, often it's these messages that fuel new creative life. It's those dark passages that we resist because they hurt too much, that truly spawn a field of blossoming dandelions that eventually take to the sky and become blowing wishes that are influential and inspirational. Eventually, your story, your creativity, becomes the inspiration that guides or helps someone else or many others, but firstly you.
My experiences with loss has brought me closer to what I can accept, what I too often can't handle but need to, and to remember to mostly breathe-in very deeply and out very softly. That I am taken care of knowing everything is unfolding as it is meant too.
To remember that we are here to do work. That everything is happening as it should.
To go through the motions that are painful so that we can begin to heal our past into our present.
To begin to listen to the messages, in the living and in the dead.
The only way to get through loss is by accepting the pangs, to get up, get grounded and to walk straight through your present life, slowly, gently, at your own pace, all-accepting. And this hurts, absolutely yes. But the more you breathe and trust your body through the motions, the layers begin to shed and the light and inspiration follow. It becomes easier to walk, to let-go, to understand.
MY GO-TO's/BACK-POCKET LIST: Some amazing places I have found self-healing assistance,
MEDITATION SLEEPING WELL EATING WELL GETTING OUTSIDE IN NATURE LIVING AUTHENTICALLY LIVING CONSCIOUSLY-PRESENT TRUSTING MY INTUITION SELF LOVE: BEING GENTLE WITH MYSELF CREATIVE OUTLETS ASKING FOR HELP by getting, CHIROPRACTIC CARE BODYTALK YOGA THEARPY with Jessica Weller MARRIAGE COUNSELLING SOCIAL WORK SERVICES
PHYSICAL ACTIVITY (jogging, cycling, walking, etc.,) READING
...if I am good to my body + my brain by honouring what I need, everything else follows.
So, don't be scared to get deep. To get help.
It's where all the good stuff comes out of.
The vulnerable stuff that a lot of people are afraid of...but that make us feel connected and not alone. That make us understand ourself.
Lastly, through these experiences in loss, I've become more keen on listening to the messages that are really soft and gentle. I sit, and as the pain leaves the acceptance gets easier, and I become more found in what feels very lost because there is no footing or physical form that was once there. No identifiable source that my eyes can recognize. I begin to rely on my other senses and believe, and then slowly, when I least expect it, it is there "the message", the "found note" that tells me nothing has been lost, that the path that seemed to disappear is there, right before me, waiting for me to keep walking and to trust in it.
Waiting for me to remember all is happening as it should. (This can also relate to many relationships in our life on many levels).
A very beautiful mantra I say to myself and that I read from an incredible website "the way forward already exists, the more I trust, the more it reveals itself to me." --- Forever Conscious It is a fun site, and I love doing their moon rituals! I take from this mantra, that there is no room for doubt if you believe in your life passage, your Self and your good intentions, that whatever is happening is unfolding perfectly.
A Personal REMINDER to myself: We are never lost because together we truly can become found.
Love: Jo Wildheart