Honouring your Truth.
A C C E P T A N C E.
There is this idea that when someone speaks their truth they leave themselves feeling vulnerable. They leave themselves at risk, because as they reveal their truth deep emotions arise and not everyone may understand.
These emotions cause things to feel incredibly scary and uncharted because we have grown so accustomed to masking how we feel in order to be accepted by others; since the time we were children to be exact. But the reality is that by honouring our own truth we discover who we are, what we love, what matters most and the people who truly love us for who we really are. We realize that the only way to find real love and the answers that we may be searching for is to seek belief in ourself first, which then leads to the path of acceptance.
As described, within these deep emotions the experience of acceptance lives. When you can accept all that you are by seeking your truth, by honouring the emotions that you feel, your personality type, the pros and the cons, and by taking the necessary steps you need to help you get through this life; help you heal, then the path you seek becomes clearer and your truth shows itself. The truth you’ve always known but had difficulty facing appears.
It has taken me 42 years to discover my truth. I think I knew it when I was younger but bouts of being bullied alongside a challenging upbringing set my path astray, at least that’s what I thought. I have realized it was all a part of the bigger plan. Thinking this way has helped me and continues to shape my life by encouraging me to see the lessons through the difficulties adding more beauty to my sliver linings. It has taken me many years, as mentioned, to reach an understanding with myself, in all of my humility, that “I AM wonderful”. By embracing all of my A-type-behaviours, all of my idiosyncrasies, all of my imperfections and amazing traits, that I have so much to offer myself and anyone that wants to join me. And, if they don't respect and honour who I am and my boundaries, then that's okay, they are not my people. I can send them love from a far, because I have learned to honour and respect myself first.
As previously mentioned, when I was in grade school I was bullied and because of this I began to experience depression and high-anxiety at a very early age. There is also a history of mental health issues in my family. Because of my history I make it a point to stay well, to keep myself in check and to stay positive. Slipping into the negative is easy. Staying in the positive is work, and takes strength paired with perseverance. Because of all these experiences listed, my past was built in thinking I needed to alter who I was. I needed to cater to others, “people-please”, and make everything better for everyone else by sacrificing my own happiness, thinking that was how life was meant to be. I would apologize even when it was not my fault, just to make everything alright. Through the years, especially after becoming a mother, I have found my backbone again. I have found my voice. My children, through their pushing me and loving me, have shown me that I need to be my best me for me.
As we all remain immersed in this pandemic emotions from my own past have come up. Things that I thought I had dealt with. Because I have worked on myself in helping to heal my past through meditation, body talk therapy and various counselling services, I can see how significant mental health upkeep is and how important it is to develop techniques to keep your body and mind in good standing even when difficult situations arise. Positive psychology is also known for this exact thing, that amongst the ups and the downs, having a good set of tools in your mental-health tool belt is vital.
MY TOP TEN TOOLS for SELF-DISCOVERY and HAPPINESS:
practicing meditation everyday for 5-10 minutes (some days I can only meditate for 2 minutes while other days I can go longer than 10 minutes. It’s all about your own personal practice).
eating well + drinking plenty of water
not drinking alcohol + or doing recreational drugs
reading great literature and engaging in fun hobbies
expanding my mind by focusing on the things that interest me
being artistic and creative
learning to say “no“ nicely
creating a community around myself that sees life in the same way that I see life pushing me to be my best me, and asking them for help when I need it too.
having good intentions in all of my actions and living day by day trusting that the universe has my back.
Through these top 10 tools, I have come closer to the person that I have always wanted to be, myself.
During this pandemic, the one person we can depend on and believe in is our SELF; to help pick us up, to encourage our minds in the best way possible by keeping it in good shape. To observe our thoughts and self-talk patterns making sure we are steering our Self on the path that keeps us safe, healthy and truthful. And if we are seeing our patterns shift through this difficult time, our internal conversation get off track then by trusting our intuition and asking our personal team and/or going to our tool belt of healthy practices can we find help. I can admit that I had no idea what good mental health practices were until I got really sick. I suffered from severe anxiety paired with depression in my mid-twenties. Things got dark for me. I now refuse to let myself go there again, so I know, before it’s too late or things get really bad to ask my personal self-care team to jump in. I created this team. I’ve listed my go-to’s and where you can find them but it’s important to create your own personal care team and put together your own toolkit.
There is so much emotion and vulnerability that has risen during this pandemic and rightfully so, what we are doing is unnatural to the human species. We are social animals, moving with our pack, meant to be amongst our herd living and thriving outdoors. Right now we are going against the grain. So as we adapt we can admit that all of this is extremely challenging on our systems.
I continue and try my best to keep things positive but it is so important to be honest with yourself. If you are feeling big things, if you can’t manage you must reach out to loved ones, be honest about how your are feeling, get real, and feel vulnerable. Some people may not fill up your cup, while others will speak to your soul. As well, you will find, it is those same people who speak to your soul that have always connected with you deeply.
This pandemic is only showcasing what was already there before. It is holding a magnifying glass on your own emotions, the worlds emotions and all of the places that we have always needed to grow. So, this is an excellent time to get quiet. To get real, and to embrace yourself.
I firmly believe that acceptance begins with you first; when you get real and honest with yourself, only then can you see the real and honest nature in others. Only then can you accept your truth and learn to set boundaries. You begin to learn what relationships you want to have in your life and how you want to be treated. You come to understand what is best for you because you have accepted your truth.
I believe in the power of truth, and although it's often painful, with many dark encounters, it is vital to understand who you are and what needs to be healed and discovered. If it was a difficult upbringing, or a toxic relationship, etc., these are all events that help guide you to accept a rising-transformation which enables you to move closer to your truth. When you confront your truth you realize how important it is to honour your emotions and express them: in art, in words on paper, opening yourself up to a loved one, expressing how feel, asking for help, etc. To let these emotions out by finding positive outlets and not just pushing them down to find them sneak up in other places.
Once we validate our own emotions, we can let them go.
Once we honour what we are feeling we are no longer hiding our truth; we are no longer hiding behind a mask. Once we acknowledge what has happened to us, or is happening to us, and how we are feeling we can look at the experience and/or emotion with humbled eyes and see the steps that need to happen next. To see ourselves as vulnerable children seeking a hand to help guide us. Once we learn to listen to our heart, feel the pain by moving past it and begin to love ourselves completely then can we begin to trust the process and see that we are not alone. We begin to see people who love us and are here to help us.
And in turn we can begin to ask for help.
We begin to seek advice.
We begin to listen to good advice given by others because we have begun to listen to our SELF first.
This blog post is a personal entry.
One that really opens up the conversation to truth--your truth.
I believe that when you are ready to honour everything about yourself, the people who can see you, who love you for you suddenly appear.
You attract what you are thinking, what your are feeling and what you are becoming.
If you begin with yourself. Accept all that you are, love yourself, and believe in yourself, then those beautiful souls who feel this will love you in your truth too.
4-STEPS in honouring your TRUTH:
1. Understand Compassion by loving yourself First
Once you begin to love yourself entirely, you begin to see the truth in others.
You begin to see that each person is suffering in some way or another. And that these individuals are unhappy or disappointed based on their own life experiences, their own mental state, and the expectations they have placed upon themselves. You cannot make anyone happy unless they themselves are happy. You can only be in charge of your own happiness. Your own truth. Your own path. When you meet your life with good intentions, welcoming truth and acceptance you begin to see the love in yourself and in-turn you can see it in others. Once you begin to follow your truth you realize how vulnerable others are and how loved and accepted everyone truly wants to be. Here is where compassion arises. Therefore, we can only begin with our SELF first, in the most gentle, non-ego boosting way, loving ourselves completely— first.
2. Communication is KEY
Communication establishes healthy lifelong relationships, especially the conversations you have with your Self. If you approach the people you love from a place of good intention, like you approach your Self, from a place of respect by honouring their feelings you may realize that you could be the turning point to having them learn a lesson too; a turning point to perhaps having them grow alongside you enabling them to see their truth. If you come from a place of authenticity and listen “to understand“ by not focusing on just being heard it allows a conversation to move in the right direction, even when it is uncomfortable. It helps create a safe place encouraging validation and an understanding that although this is uncomfortable "I care for you and want this to work because I love you." It is worth the effort to hush the internal voice inside of your head that is preparing a defensive response and instead to listen wholeheartedly with good and loving intentions. If you can then, switch your mindset and realize it is not necessary to be right but instead look for a solution that is mutually beneficial the heaviness lifts and a newfound level of understanding is found. This approach is so incredible and the aftermath is beautiful. It creates a growth and a shift for you and the person you want things to work out with.
3. Go Beyond your Comfort Zone
Creating with true intention and moving past your comfort zone by addressing matters within yourself and with others is key and takes courage. When you begin to listen to what you need, and see where your boundaries remain then things align, and your words match your actions and vice-versa. This reflects your truth by doing what you say and saying what you do therefore being held accountable. Thinking before you speak and being mindful of your words, by committing yourself, by knowing that you are dependable because you are dependable for your own Self first. Meditation can help immensely. I believe that meditation doesn't only happen in front of your altar. It happens in every waking moment of your life. You are consciously making choices, and decisions, breathing and existing in every second. And, if you can take your meditation practice with you throughout the day, you will see the value in what you are being presented with and how you react, having faith to move you out of your comfort zone causing you to be mindful in your thoughts and actions. Thinking before you speak. Thinking before you act. Encouraging you to respond from a place of good intention, no fear and love. This good intention can also be a place where you stand up for yourself, by speaking your truth showcasing your boundaries which isn't always comfortable.
If you need guidance to help push you past your comfort zone, a good starting point is to reflect on where you are? What you are doing? To ask yourself deep questions that may lead to changes that confirm your desires? Does your job reflect your desires? Are you happy in your relationships? Are you fulfilled? Get real, get deep, get wholehearted and honest with yourself finding the answers that you need to ensure that the path you are walking upon honours your truth. Sometimes asking yourself these deep questions and then just writing down words that come to your mind without thinking can help uncover some truth and deep meanings. I have found through meditation, as mentioned, that in asking for answers eventually they come to you. Everything that you seek is answered you simply have to get clear when asking. Some of the questions listed above are a good starting point.
4. Honouring your Voice
When your actions match your words then your voice is reclaimed. Establishing clear boundaries with family and friends will encourage you not to go backward and revert to previous unhealthy behaviours and patterns. Nurture your inner wisdom as you would your inner child. Listen and hear that voice inside of you that speaks your truth. Be gentle and speak softly to your inner critic hushing that voice by realizing it has no power over you only the power you allow it to have, similarly like the unhealthy relationships you no longer want to have with your Self or others. If you can understand your inner critic as being separate from you, you can then see the parallel to other maladaptive relationships in your life. You control the inner critic as much as you control the toxicity in your life through the people you welcome in. Ultimately, the goal is to become one with your intuition and allow it to guide you in the appropriate direction even when it's challenging and uncomfortable. To love yourself and to believe in yourself completely.
A wrote this poem.
W A N D E R by: Jo Wildheart
If you wander past the familiar.
If you seek the unknown.
If you trust in the uncharted path,
the one lead by your heart...
there you will find truth.
If you hold yourself up.
If you believe in all that you are.
If you see your beauty from deep inside you...
there you will find love.
If you listen to the whispers sent in heartbeats.
If you quieten the critic and value the unseen.
Trust your intuition and not your sight...
you will discover a place where others stand beside you holding your hand.
Here, in this place, because you've followed your truth, you discover,
you were never alone.
Behind the unfamiliar remains a tribe of survivors, those who leapt into the unknown.
Followed their intuition.
Found their truth.
Found honour in themselves amongst the darkness.
Here, they were waiting for you to take the leap.
Here, they were waiting all along, patiently knowing you would one day join them.
Love You: Jo
P.S. A FEW MORE of my TOOLS listed below.
Books I love:
Conscious Evolution by: Barbara Marx Hubbard Big Magic by: Elizabeth Gilbert
TAO TE CHING by: Lao Tzu translated by Jonathan Star
The Untethered Soul by: Michael A.Singer
If you have children (the only parent book you will ever need):
The Parents Guide TAO TE CHING: Ancient Advice for Modern Parents
Cookbook that I love:
I love this site:
Self-care places + people that I love:
Intergrated Wellness Body + Mind
Instagram Handles that are inspiring:
If you have children these programs offer classes for parents and children to explore too: